


He'll Be Waiting Back at Home

by Infinitely_Odd



Series: Meanwhile, In Night Vale [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Awkward Carlos, Carlos and Cecil are Dorks, Carlos is Human, Carlos-centric, Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil is Described (Welcome to Night Vale), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Carlos (Welcome to Night Vale), Scientist Carlos (Welcome to Night Vale), Unresolved Tension, not between cec and carlos tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinitely_Odd/pseuds/Infinitely_Odd
Summary: Carlos has struggled with balancing work and relationships in the past.He fears it happening again.
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer, Carlos/OMC (past)
Series: Meanwhile, In Night Vale [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553950
Comments: 4
Kudos: 120





	He'll Be Waiting Back at Home

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @oddpyromaniac  
> Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bibliokleptic_aziraphale/  
> Good Reads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/99760524-eldritch-abomination

Carlos' first boyfriend was a literature student. They shared a campus, and a building, and even a dormitory room. He had short dark hair and green eyes like the forests Carlos had seen on a school trip to Germany once. He laughed loudly and unashamedly, he had a pride flag hanging over his bed. Carlos often stole his flannel shirts and in return, he stole Carlos' jumpers- often with some bad science joke written on the front, like a picture of a stone and a ruler captioned by "You rock!" and "You rule!", or in a similar vein a stone saying "geology rocks!". Another said: "You can't trust atoms, they make up everything." One even had the word "sodium" written sixteen times followed by "Batman!"- that one was his favourite. 

He didn't mind Carlos' ramblings about science, and Carlos could listen to him talking about how much of a lesbian Emily Dickinson was all day. By Christmas, things had grown a lot more serious. The honeymoon phase was over and instead came wonderful domesticity. Morning coffee and kisses, lunch together, and dinner left in the fridge for whoever was home later. Carlos would fill the coffee machine up so it was ready to go in the morning, and there would be boxes of lunch left in the fridge for him to eat in the lab. 

It was perfect. 

_Was_ perfect. Carlos couldn't remember what happened, really. A couple of missed dates, days without speaking, weeks without seeing each other. Missed phone calls, late texting back. Forgetting to put coffee into the pot, never being home in time to make dinner. Cancelling plans, small things that snowballed into avalanches. Carlos' lab took up most of his time. It all lead up to a teary fight filled with insults neither meant and teeth bared. By the end of the night, both were exhausted. 

Carlos looked at him, that dark hair and vibrant eyes filled with tears, and realised they hadn't seen each other in a while. Y _our lab is taking all your time,_ he said, _don't you want to spend time with me? Aren't I worth your time?_

To be honest, Carlos hadn't even realised he was spending so much time there. 

But there was pain in his eyes, his teeth clenched and his knuckles were white as snow. He left that night and didn't come back- stayed at a friend's flat and eventually moved out. Carlos missed him, missed his smile, missed the domesticity he'd come to know. They never spoke again, and Carlos never saw him again. Somehow he managed to avoid his ex-boyfriend until he'd finished school and went to learn how to teach. 

Often he lay in bed wondering where it went wrong. 

Before Carlos deleted his number, he went through their old messages. Little "I love you"s followed by too many x's and o's. Funny dog images and a cheesy literature joke. Eventually, around the time of his final dissertation, Carlos' replies got shorter and shorter. 

All the things he could have done better swirled and swirled into a whirlpool of hatred. Carlos was both too much and not enough. Too much science and not enough time. His mama told him he'd work himself to death, which quickly turned from a joke to a thinly veiled worry. Even his sister and brothers were getting worried. When he visited, Carlos did his best to ignore the looks and the whispered conversations about his health.

It was almost a blessing when he found himself in Night Vale with no memory of how he got there, standing on the outskirts of town in his lab coat, a backpack slung over his shoulder, the only reminder of his old life was a letter in his hand from the board of directors allowing him a grant to investigate the town for a year. 

* * *

Carlos was always scared of messing things up with Cecil. 

The radio host was the epitome of sunshine, despite living in a town mostly covered by night, and being pretty afraid of the sun. Cecil's smile could light up the darkest room, his eyes could pierce Carlos even from across the room. It took a little while to get used to Cecil and his abnormalities. The way his tattoos appeared to be simple sleeves climbing each arm- but in actual fact moved, usually in accordance with how he was feeling. Cecil's eyes changed colour too, usually alternating between deep brown and silver (Carlos had yet to test whether those too were emotionally linked to Cecil), and, when he was really angry, his tattoos morphed into actual tentacles. 

That last fact was provided by Cecil himself. Carlos hadn't ever seen him that angry, and could only count two instances where he might have been angry enough to create actual tentacles from his tattoos- when Khoshekh was attacked, and when Kevin offered to "fix" Janice. Carlos had missed both of those events, and Steve Carlsberg hadn't seen any tentacles when Kevin was there. 

There was something almost childish about Cecil, he retained a kind of child-like wonder, particularly concerning non-Night Vale related things. There was a fragility about Cecil, too, like his happy nature could be fractured in a split second. This, Carlos had witnessed. Their mating ritual, as Cecil had referred to it once, was a strange and mostly one-sided affair. 

Cecil's open declaration of love the minute he'd stepped into Night Vale was mostly unwelcome. Not only had Carlos never met the guy, he'd been in his lab since late last night, but he had apparently seen _Carlos_. 

During the course of their acquaintanceship, Carlos had been very blunt with the infatuated radio host. It was for the best, he told himself, declining Cecil's 12th offer to get pizza and ignoring the way his face fell ever so slightly and how his tattoos slunk beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his white dress shirt. 

It wasn't until he was on the brink of death that he allowed himself the guilty pleasure of admitting he _liked_ Cecil, more than he should. 

Since then things had been pretty great, all things considered. They had their Big Rico's together, they spoke pretty much every day, Cecil always wanted him on the radio show. Not to mention he kept Night Vale updated on how perfect Carlos was, and what they had been doing lately. It was a nice thing to fill the void of his lab with. Cecil had the perfect voice for radio, it carried well and wound itself around Carlos, slinked into the test tubes. Carlos often thought about bottling them when Cecil spoke just to see if his voice could be caught in there. 

Carlos had been happy, happier than he ever remembered himself being. Every time he and Cecil sat together at Arby's or Big Rico's, when he visited Cecil during the weather report at work, or when they spent the night together curled in each other's arms- Carlos sleeping deeply and Cecil pretending to sleep. Carlos appreciated the effort.

But recently something had shifted in Carlos. Once more, everything seemed too perfect.

Anxiety nibbled the corners of his heart. Texts began to go unanswered, calls were missed, and eventually, Carlos expected to go home to find Cecil on the verge of tears just as he had come home to years ago. The thought of hurting Cecil like this hurt more than he expected, and yet it was unsurprising. 

Loving Cecil was the easiest thing in the world, and he loved Cecil on purpose. It wasn't easy to fall in love with him in the beginning, but a switch was flipped and suddenly everything Carlos had found overbearing or weird was suddenly entirely _Cecil_ , and who couldn't love Cecil? From there he fell quickly. 

Work had become busy lately. Seismic tremors had been at an all-time high, with no repercussions for the small town. There was more than ever to learn about Night Vale, and once more someone he loved was being put on the back burner because of it. Carlos couldn't help it, it just happened. Science had always been there for him. Through crushes and death and love and loss, science was a constant he could rely on. He didn't need a lab partner, he could work on his own, even though he got lonely.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Cecil, again: _'Everything okay?'_

Carlos put the phone back into his pocket, knowing that texting back would make him feel worse, and not texting back would make him feel just as bad. He decided with the latter, for some reason, and turned back to his microscope. A few minutes later another text came in: _'carlos???? are you alright?'_

The hole in his chest grew larger until he turned off his phone and didn't look at it again. Hours passed and Carlos felt more hollow with every passing second. Regret made his heart heavy, and the phone in his pocket felt like lead. He stood and cleaned his workspace, nothing more could be learned today. 

Outside he strode to his car and leaned against it, not getting in yet, but just breathing in the cool air. He slipped into his car, wondering where he should go. 

Carlos drove mindlessly, passing through the town and past the main street. Eventually, he pulled on the brakes and found himself outside of Cecil's apartment. The place he'd begun to call home as of late. Reluctantly, Carlos turned on his phone. An onslaught of messages came in all from Cecil. Various sad faces and concerned messages flooded the screen. Carlos winced, he'd surely be mad after this. 

Against his better judgement, he got out of the car and walked to Cecil's front door, and knocked twice. The door opened, and immediately Carlos found himself embraced by Cecil. The radio host pressed his face into Carlos' shoulder and held him tightly. Cecil led him inside the apartment and sat him at the table while he phones for some takeout. 

Immediately, Carlos felt lighter. Cecil spoke enough for both of them. As he waxed lyrical Carlos found himself drifting. He drifted back to that dreaded night, looking at himself staring at his ex-boyfriend who was on the edge of tears. He found himself apologising inwardly to him, to the boy he loved and lost. They were both too young, inexperienced, naive. Both unsure of how to work these things, and realistically it might not have lasted much longer regardless. All the words he meant to say, should have said, came spilling out. Slowly, the image dissipated until he was back to the present, Cecil staring at him as if Carlos had put the stars in the sky. 

Cecil cocked his head, and Carlos grinned at him. The door went again, and Cecil left to get the food, gifting a small kiss on Carlos' forehead as he walked past. 

Carlos was home. He knew, as Cecil came in covered in soot (new delivery boy, a bit too enthusiastic) that there was nowhere he'd rather be than Night Vale. And no matter what kind of a day he had, Cecil would always be waiting back at home. 

**Author's Note:**

> AAAA i love carlos. hopefully the ex bf isnt too hard to understand? I basically couldnt be bothered giving him a name so hopefully you understand when certain 'he's' mean him
> 
> carlos also has depression and anxiety, which will be built on later in another fic im planning, and i always thought about how he manages (or doesnt manage to) balance relatioships and his love. 
> 
> I think that regarding his past relationship carlos was mostly at fault, but communication was clearly not there. carlos struggles with opening up, but once he has its like a floodgate, and i think he'd be a little wary of romance particularly after past experiences. this is also kind of what happened to my first relationship which was a whole Mess
> 
> i also handed in a huge report today so this is my stress relief ahah
> 
> i hope i portrayed this okay! Lots of love, send me a comment, give me a follow all social media is linked above.
> 
> love, me


End file.
